The Birthday Party
by TheBleachDoctor
Summary: John, Rose, and Dave travel to Jade's island for her birthday party! But when they arrive they get more than they bargained for! Post-scratch AU STORY ABANDONED
1. Plane to Nowhere

Jade lay sleeping on her bed, in her cool satellite bedroom. Today was a special day, and no, not a day that she would begin a game that would lead to the annihilation of Earth. No, that would never happen. Disappointed? Well that's too bad. Today was when she would finally meet her friends! She had talked to them, video chatted, and mailed, but today she would finally meet them in person! But she's sleeping right now, and will continue to sleep for a couple of hours, so it would be a waste of time to observe her for the moment. Why not observe her friends?

John walked out of the small airport, shouldering his backpack. It was filled with clothes, the essentials, and of course, a hammer. Never know when you could use a hammer, after all. As he surveyed the miniscule runway, he saw a kid with blonde hair struggling to untangle his backpack with what appeared to be a katana. "Hey!" Egbert exclaimed, as he rushed over to him, "Let me help with that!" The blonde kid turned around, his black shades glinting in the sun, "Hey, I can handle this." John gaped, and immediately broke out into a large grin. "Dave! You're about as cool as I thought you'd be!" Dave blinked (or we assume he did, as his cool shades block his eyes)"Wait a second," he started, "You're John Egbert, aren't you?" John nodded excitedly, "Dave Strider, I'm so glad to finally meet you! Are you excited for Jade's birthday party?" Dave went back to untangling his katana, "I'm about as excited as I can be. I'm flying out into the middle of the f*cking ocean to some goddamn forsaken island to visit my friend for her birthday party. Jegus. I mean Jesus."

John just continued smiling. "but despite that, Dave, you're still going. I think you care more than you let on." Dave yanked his sword out of the backpack's shoulder straps, which were still a tangled mess. "Perceptive, aren't you, Egbert? By the way, where's Rose?" John looked around the deserted runway, "No idea, she better get her shortly, the plane's gonna get here soon. By the way, what's with the katana?" Dave finally untangled the backpack, and turned to John, "This?" he asked, gesturing to his sword. "Yeah," John answered, "that." Dave smiled, slung on his backpack, and deftly unsheathed the sword, presenting it to John "My bro just got me this, ordered it straight from Japan. He said it was time for me to stop using my piece of shit sword and finally get a real katana. John ogled at the blade, it was finely forged, and glimmered in the sunlight. "Can…" John began, "Can I touch it?" Dave quickly resheathed the blade, "Gog, I mean God no, John." He attached the sword back to his hip, "You'd probably cut yourself and bleed to death on the f*cking pavement." John made a pouting face, "Fine, be that way, but why are you taking it to the party?" Dave pushed his shades farther up his face, "Well, if you must know, since I just got this, I want to practice with it…." Dave then smiled deviously, "and if I get the chance, I can kill that f*cking devilbeast Jade calls a pet."

John recoiled in shock, "What? Bec is a lovely animal! Why in god's name would you want to kill it?" Dave frowned, "I don't like that dog. It's about as bad as my Bro's ass puppets." The argument would have continued on, but the clicking of high heels got both of their attentions. "If you fine gentlemen can stop bickering for a second, then maybe you could take a second to greet me." John immediately brightened up, "Rose! You look…beautiful." She did. She had on a nice dress, purple and black in color, and had nothing more than a small handbag. Dave smirked, "You look like dressed to the nines, Rose." Rose gave both of them a patronizing smile, "And both of _you_ look like you don't even care about your friend's birthday." John was about to make a very good (in his opinion) comeback, when the droning of a plane's engine made them all turn on their heels, to see a rickety old one prop Cessna bounce down to the pavement.

"There's no f*cking way I'm riding on that thing." Dave breathed, but John patted him on the back. "Come on Dave! It'll be fun, and I'm sure that Jade will be really happy to see you!" Dave grumbled consent, and slowly, all three kids approached the plane.

Jade yawned, stretching her arms; she had just woken up. She had peered into the Skaian clouds, and saw her friends boarding the airplane. "Hm.." she mumbled drowsily, "I wonder if I should have told them that they have to parachute onto the island."


	2. What can go wrong, will go wrong

"We have to WHAT?" Dave and John's voice screeched over the headsets. The pilot and Rose both cringed. The pilot shrugged, "Sorry guys, but that's the only way to get on the island, we parachute it in. No other way in, aside from a boat." The boys started to protest, before Rose put her hands on their shoulders, "I'm going first, since you two are so reluctant to do this deceptively easy task."

"No," Dave cut in, "Screw that Rose, I'm going first. I'm the fucking coolkid, I have to set the fucking example." Rose then narrowed her eyes at Dave, "No, Strider, I'm going first. Unlike you two, I'm wearing a dress, which is not a suitable garment to be wearing while parachuting. Unless you were planning to-"

Dave cut her off, "What, Fuck, no Rose, don't even suggest that. You're like my fucking sister, don't even suggest something that fucking disgusting." John snickered, with his little derpy smile, "You guys are so aderpable together. Like brother and sister."

Dave turned to face John in the back seat, "John, for gogs sake we practically are siblings. And you and Rose are a better fucking match."

The pilot turned on his headset, and with an amused tone, declared, "While it's entertaining and all listening to you three, you kind of need to jump now, I need to start the return trip in about a minute, make sure your parachute is tight and all."

Rose dived out of the plane with almost no delay, Jade's island still a tiny speck at that altitude. Dave prepared to jump, turning around to ask John, "Do you think Jade's devilbeast of a fucking dog will catch us if our parachutes fail?"

John just shrugged, "It's okay, go coolkid." And with that, he shoved Dave out of the airplane, quickly following with an excited/terrified scream.

[Down on the ground]

Jade stretched, arching her back, her fingers interlaced, and arms high up in the air. The faint sputtering of a Cessna was heard high in the sky, and she turned to pat her pet Becquerel. "Who's a good puppy! Are you ready to meet me friends?" Bec just wagged his tail.

[Meanwhile…]

"My parachute is busted!" John screamed at the top of his lungs, freefalling next to his two friends.

"No shit, Egbert. We're all gonna go splat against Jades fucking island like some sick pigeon shit." Dave deadpanned, one hand on shades, and the other on out to the side.

Rose had taken off her parachute, and was examining it, "The results of my analysis has revealed that someone has sewn the flap of this parachute shut. Given time, I could undo these stitches."

"Time we don't have." Dave hollered, "Any bright ideas Egbert?"

John just screamed, "AAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHH"

"WEAREGOINGTODIE" John continued to scream.

Dave facepalmed.


	3. Fucking DevilbeastSquiddle Savior!

John continued to flail his arms screaming while the three kids continued their descent. Rose stopped her efforts with the parachute, and looked at Dave, "Strider, I won't be able to get this undone before we hit the ground. It appears that the impact with the ground at terminal velocity will cause our untimely demise."

Dave just adjusted his frames, "That's… fucking swell. I guess if a coolkid has to go out, he goes out like this… Although I imagined it being a bit more flashy…" Dave turned, irritated, at John, "John, I swear, SHUT THE FUCK UP." John quickly stopped screaming, but was still panicked. "Honestly, John, have some dignity."

John yelled, "Dave! Come on, don't you have something in your grab bag of ninja tricks to save us? I don't wanna diiiiieeeeeeee!" Dave thought for a couple seconds, while the ground grew steadily closer. "Maybe" Dave mused, "Just maybe…. I'm not that good at flash stepping, but I might be able to catch all of you." Rose nodded, "That would be acceptable, Strider. Please execute your plan flawlessly, else one or both of us will die when we finish our descent."

Dave announced, "Get ready! We're almost there! 1…2…..3-!" All of a sudden, right before they hit the ground, as Dave braced himself to save his two friends, green light enveloped his vision, and he was dumped unceremoniously into something squishy. He flailed about for a bit, before righting himself, and trying to look around, but his shades were only hindering in this barely lit room. He could hear John's muffled cries, and another set of movements, most likely Rose.

"Dave, I can't see anything, am I dead? I didn't want to die! Dave you asshole, how could you let this happen to me?" John cried, Dave quickly trudged over to him, and extracted him from the large pile of squishy things they were both in. "Cool it, John, we're safe." Dave sighed. John looked around, "Huh, where are we?" Rose in the corner spoke up, "Judging from the feeling of the objects making up this pile… I would assume they are Squiddle plush toys." Dave accepted this fact as only coolkids could, while John examined one of the Squiddles in the faint light.

Suddenly, a light overhead turned on, indeed, they were waist deep in a giant Squiddle pile. Jade was standing near the door with her pet dog Becquerel behind her, "Oh thank goodness!" she exclaimed cheerfully, her face bright and smiling, "I was almost afraid Bec wouldn't be able to catch you, but he did it! Isn't he such a good dog, very best friend?" She gave Bec an affectional pat on the head. Dave glared at the dog through his pitch black shades, muttering, "This changes nothing you fucking devilbeast."

Bec bared his teeth and just pushed his head into Jade's hand.


End file.
